The Diary of an Urban Cheesemaker Part 7 of a 4 part series

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Hi Cheese folk and welcome to this part 7 of 4 of the diary of an urban cheese maker.

Here is my review of the last couple of months

Yea baby. You know you want to. Show me how it is.


Beards. Back in 2014 I forecast the rise in facial hair and now look; everywhere you go there is an unashamed beard walking about. There is a whole world of beardy people on twitter who use #BILF. On a related point when did categories like MILF or FILF become standard vocabulary – was I asleep? Will the rise in beards increase the amount of random snogging – I miss snogging. Why don’t people just snog anymore?

I was even nominated for the beard of the year award and despite my best efforts to win the public vote; I didn’t. It was an honour to be nominated and I don’t mind losing – no really I don’t – I am new man and it’s the taking part that matters and not winning. I have no idea who won but good luck to them but the trophy will be mine next year so enjoy it while you can!

The really really big news: We were really honoured to win a Bronze Medal at the World cheese awards in Earls Court in November. Cheese from around the world is entered and our little dairy was awarded a Bronze Medal for our Alexandra after only a few years in the business. This is like Madonna winning a Brit award in the days when she was still capable of staying on the stage and not falling off.  But we are not stopping there – oh no cowboy – we will continue to invent/create different types of cheeses and I am aiming for silver next year.

There are some fashions that are really getting on my nerves such as prices being shown as 4.5 and not £4.50. Where is the £ symbol to denote the numbers are currency. And yes currency is always shown to two decimal places. And the next thing to get me is the current fashion for keeping the location of your establishment secret: put up a sign that shows the name and (street) number of your restaurant.

Did you see me on the TV with some fella called James Martin? The BBC did a mini biography of my cheese making life from my Kitchen to his kitchen (of which he has two) via the micro – dairy. It took 3 days of my life to make this biopic and I enjoyed every minute of it although at times it was crushingly boring 

If you find yourself aboard an Air France flight to London be sure to take note of all the great information they give you about this great city. Be absolutely sure to read the inflight magazine particularly the awesomely interesting things to do in London. But what’s this about at number 3 most interesting thing to see/do in town. Yup you guessed go visit me at Borough market – it appears I am not the typical Englishman (sighs of relief go around the room).

I have been pondering some very complicated issues recently such as: if every living thing stayed the same size but the planet was double or tripled in size would we live our lives differently, after all, after all America was at the edge of human endurance when it was discovered but if the planet was 3x bigger then it would never have been discovered; no potato and no chips. Shudder.

The wing span of a jumbo jet is further than the first Wright bros flight. Things that make you go hmmmmm!

Is it true that mankind stopped being nomadic because of alcohol? It takes six weeks to brew up a brain cell killer so you can’t just wander off. And hoping that yeast settles on berries is way too unreliable when you get home from a day’s hunting needing a drink.

Last bit of showing off: we were finalists in the Urban Food Awards. We were voted by the public as the one of the most popular food producers in London. If you voted for us then thank you if you didn’t then sort yourself out for next year.

And the really big news is that we have moved into our new micro – dairy. After years of little or no room to move we have finally taken the plunge and taken on a bigger unit. The new micro – dairy allows us to make more cheese but also take courses.

So from the beginning of May we will show you how to make cheese at home without the need for any expensive equipment. We will do a bit of science (pay attention at the back) but the day will be primarily focussed on the practice of home cheese making. At the end of the day you will take home fresh curd, stretched curd (mozzarella in style) and a hard cheese that you mature at home in your fridge.  All the details are on our website.

Also watch out for cheese and wine/beer pairing evenings. Eat cheese. Drink Beer. Watch Cheese made. Eat more cheese. Details coming soon.


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